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in. Because Japan has one of the lowest birth rates in the world and its population is on course to shrink dramatically by the middle of the century, every five years the government carries out a detailed survey of attitudes to sex and marriage. P e ople in Japan, and Tokyo in particular, work ridiculous amounts.

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For most people it comes down to two choices: work like mad as a single person and have a tiny apartment full of dirty clothes and half-eaten Cup Ramen containers, or get married. His wife and daughter are already fast asleep. For a man, it means he is working to pay for his wife.

For a woman, it means a life of indentured servitude. For a Japanese male it is possible to get sex almost anywhere, at any time, for little more than the price of a decent lunch. But Japanese racism is a whole other subject. So prostitution has turned sex in Japan into a commodity.

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The fact is that prostitution is widespread and its availability changes the way people view relationships. The society functions with robot-like efficiency because bosses tell employees what to do — as do parents or teachers — and one does it!

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There is a hierarchy. One does not challenge instructions or offer up original ideas, and Japanese definitely do not initiate conversation with strangers. Japanese people excel at social interactions when there are clearly defined roles: Boss and Worker, Clerk and Customer, Drunk salaryman and Gaijin. There are clear rules and precedents for those situations.

But for two Japanese people to strike up a conversation while in line at the grocery store? The biological side i. But then you have the social side of sexual relationships. And in Japan, the social weight of sexual relations is infinitely heavier than in the West. Very few Japanese people date in the semi-casual manner that happens in the West. And there is practically no cohabitation of young couples outside of wedlock.

These are the words used by both sexes most often when they talk about their relationship phobia.

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Romantic commitment seems to represent burden and drudgery, from the exorbitant cost of buying property in Japan to the uncertain expectations of a spouse and in-laws. You will end up being a housewife with no independent income.

"i want to be with you, but not in a physical way"

A fluent French speaker with two university degrees, she avoids romantic attachments so she can focus on work. The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much.

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Amid the two-decade recession and unsteady wages Japanese men feel that the pressure on them to be breadwinning economic warriors for wife and family is unrealistic. They are rejecting the pursuit of both career and romantic success. Some experts believe the flight from marriage is not merely a rejection of outdated norms and gender roles.

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It could be a long-term state of affairs. Biosphere problems with oestrogen may be having a strong negative impact on sexual desire, though such environmental concerns are still only whispered. We read about the negative affects that plastics are having in terms of our oceans and on sea life, but what is little known is that plastics, fertilisers and pesticides contain artificial oestrogens which are now found throughout the entire food chain.

This female hormone is now being cited as affecting fish populations where males are becoming females.

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It is highly possible that such outcomes are also affecting human sexuality and sexual drives. Japan is a dominant Western society that has been exposed now for some generations. For Japan the good and bad are two sides of the same coin. They are just crazy snapshots. A salaryman passed out drunk in a bush; ren being smacked by his mother in the grocery store; a family enjoying the cherry blossoms in the springtime. Look how nice Japan is, with everyone enjoying the flowers!

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Look how horrible Japan is with its strict discipline and sexual inactivity! If one pasted all of these snapshots of Japan onto a giant noticeboard and then drew arrows showing how one element influenced another, one would probably have a tangled mess. To understand these relationships would drive the average foreign researcher insane, but somehow in the Japanese mind it all makes sense.

People rave about how good the service in Japan is, how clean the cities and countryside are, and how everything runs like clockwork.

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Those are good things. And people praise the orderliness and politeness of Japanese society, rarely understanding that such attitudes are built out of ificant respect for personal space. For a city the size of Tokyo, with 15 million of people living in crowded conditions, the amount of yelling, pushing and horn honking is amazingly low. Such calm is created because most people are keeping their true feelings inside, as they have done their whole lives. Open expression is not an option in this society.

If there was greater personal freedom conversely there would be many social excesses and problems like today in the United States.

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These differences in personal space make Japan an extremely interesting destination for foreigners to visit, to examine and explore a culture that they cannot find elsewhere. If you are interested in sex tourism then Japan is definitely not for you. Get started. Open in app. Kiyoshi Matsumoto.

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in Get started. Get started Open in app. Work in Japan P e ople in Japan, and Tokyo in particular, work ridiculous amounts. More from Kiyoshi Matsumoto Follow.

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